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  1. “It looks like an undead America in my hands.”
  2. “Without a doubt, Wyatt Duvall was probably the most sinister man that has ever lived.”
  3. Community leaders protest new soup kitchen
  4. Will smoking dryer lint become the newest drug epidemic to sweep the nation?
  5. Food police arrest unsuspecting shoppers
  6. Civil War reenactment draws ire of Southern heritage supporters
  7. Diversified Solutions, Inc. Amendment to Bylaw 23: Section 48 ii
  8. Benefit carnival for abused children outrages community
  9. Studies confirm: Dating dippers is deadly
  10. “I swallowed sod. I breathed worms. I huffed the entire 50-yard line. “
  11. Teen access to dryer lint greater than alcohol and marijuana
  12. “The message was simple but direct: ‘Urinals and toilets broken. Please use sink.’”
  13. Controversial dryer lint advocate arrested at St. Paddy’s party release
  14. Diversified Solutions, Inc. Amendment to Bylaw 63: Section 63 lxiii
  15. “I’ve begged on street corners. I’ve passed out in the gutter. I’ve blown white-collar narcissists just to steal their belly lint.”
  16. Dryer lint advocate arrested after Centennial Park rally
  17. A Guerrilla Marketing Primer: How to trigger the Curiosity Reflex of the consumer
  18. “I looked in the mirror. It had gone cold turkey. I hadn’t. I couldn’t. But I refused to turn look away.’
  19. Wake Up, America. The Slumber Party Wants You to Sleep
  20. The Slumber Party Pledge: Fight for Your Right to Rest
  21. The Triumphant History of the Slumber Party Flower
  22. Pro-nap group wants company to realize ‘sleep’ is not a four-letter word
  23. Community outraged by easy access to porn at convenience store
  24. Amendment to Bylaw 49: Section 72 iii
  25. The Future Abortionists of America
  26. “The Hazardous Toys: Choking Division is doing their part. Are you doing yours?”
  27. “As many of you are aware, Team Teen Trauma has been hard at work creating a new internet hoax and urban legend.”
  28. Community outraged by easy access to porn at convenience store
  29. Christian-style ‘American Idol’ holds auditions outside hospital of woman in vegetative state
  30. Diversified Solutions: Status Report
  31. Twin Towers toy strikes terror in heart of parents
  32. Undercover, We Are One.
  33. Community outraged by easy access to porn at convenience store
  34. “While some scholarships require students to maintain a 3.0 grade point average or score a 1500 on the SAT, all that we ask is that they score a .08 on a breathalyzer.”
  35. Diversified Solutions Incorporated: Status Report
  36. The Somnambulist, 12 R.E..M. 48-87
  37. The Slumber Party takes over Civil War site
  38. Community outraged by easy access to porn at convenience store
  39. “The Spectre that is the Slumber Party, the apparitional epiphany that is the Sleepwalker”
  40. Diversified Solutions: Status Report
  41. “Let the Spirit Move You”
  42. Diversified Solutions: Status Report
  43. “The Comfort of Ceremony”
  44. “I had built a craven image to myself out of upcycled condoms and semen and I crushed it with one blow.”
  45. Slumber Party leaders unveils controversial immigration reform plan
  46. Controversial painting causes gallery to shuts its doors following complaints
  47. Community outraged by easy access to porn at convenience store
  48. “The restroom mirrors in the Back Alley spoke in tongues and the graffilthy on the walls was written in braille.”
  49. The Somnambulist: 2 R.E.M. 7:20
  50. “The image of a single sheep appeared. It looked at the camera and said, ‘Dan Heusen. We are coming for ewe.’”
  51. Slumber Party’s Duvall urges Congress to pass ‘Obamaguns’ bill
  52. Duvall tells Congress: Create interment malls for Syrian refugees
  53. Review: Zombie thriller ‘The South Will Rise Again’ delivers plenty of scares
  54. Flash nap shuts down tourist market
  55. “The naysayers will say the book you hold in your hands is a work of fiction. Let them.”
  56. “The myth of Kris Kringle must die. And this must be our Last Noel.”
  57. A partial transcript from the documentary “The Many Crimes of Wyatt Duvall”