Diversified Solutions, Inc. employees are strictly prohibited from giving notification of employment resignation at non-DSI organizations and/or companies prior to the exact moment of resignation (See “Getting Fired Responsibly”).
While DSI encourages all DSI employees to overextend their guerilla marketing campaigns for the purposes of stimulating the Inspiration Nerve (See “Seven Tantric Techniques to Releasing Your Inner Imp”) and furthermore encourages DSI employees on assignment to openly, yet responsibly, lose track of which assignments they are on for the purposes of unnerving non-DSI colleagues (See “Schizophrenia for a More Paranoid Workplace”), DSI believes that prior notifications can lead to DSI employees on “moonlighting” assignments to indulge in overly sensitive and/or nostalgic goodbyes and moments of sincerity (See “Feelings Are Not Your Friends: DSI Desensitivity Techniques”). All resignations must be of the most expedient and turbulent nature, provoking fear and confusion among as many of your soon-to-be-forgotten colleagues as possible (See “Of Lady Fingers and 20-Megaton Bombs: Atomic metaphors for maximizing impact”).
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